The Importance of Accountability

For the first time in my life, I am a part of an accountability group.  I have never had an official accountability partner, although my husband is an invaluable sounding board and support in leading me in a godly, biblical direction.  Another dear friend has also provided a helpful degree of accountability.  As she says of our relationship, “We can talk about trivial things but usually bring it back to how we should act or respond in Christ.”

Last night I met with my accountability group of five ladies for the first time.  After a fantastic first night of sharing and bonding, I am excited about the potential of growing together in our walks with the Lord.

But why does accountability matter?  Is it truly worth sacrificing a couple of hours a week of family time, relaxation, or other events to meet with these ladies for this purpose?

Yes!  And God tells us exactly why.

“But exhort one another daily, while it is called ‘Today,’ lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin.”  Hebrews 3:13

Christians are to exhort one another, which means we are to caution, advise, and even warn our siblings in Christ.  We are to teach and be teachable, correct and be corrected.  We are to encourage each other, which includes not only sending a thoughtful note or complimenting someone on a job well done, but also supporting and gently nudging one another towards growth in godly character, biblical knowledge, and spiritual wisdom.

This is accountability! 

And it is important, as the urgent tone of Hebrews 3:13 suggests.  God commands it.  Our faith in His Word should compel us to obedience with or without a reason for it.  Yet in this instance, God gives us what we wish we had in every command from Him: an explanation, an answer to the question “Why?”   

Satan’s job is to deceive, which is about all he can do, but deception is powerful.  Accountability (exhorting one another) counters Satan’s work.  When we encourage, teach, correct, pray, and in general urge and motivate one another to grow biblically, we are less likely to be deceived by sin and have our hearts hardened against God’s righteous way.  Rather than being unable or unwilling to recognize God’s truth, accountability helps us clearly distinguish and accept it.  We grow not only in character and knowledge, but also in spiritual discernment. 

Furthermore, we produce more fruit in our lives – love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control - and God is glorified.  Not only is accountability an act of obedience to the Lord and a way to prevent being deceived by the enemy, but its results also glorify God to the world around us. 

Is accountability important?  Absolutely!

Overcoming the Monotony of our Home School

Organized, methodical, prepared, task-oriented… these are all my strengths.  

Creative, spontaneous, imaginative, carefree… these are far from my strengths! 

So what’s a mom/teacher to do when she realizes that her kids find their school routines boring, even at home? 

Of course, my logical personality repeatedly explained that life is not all about being entertained and having fun.  Work must be done.  Sometimes labor is enjoyable, but other times it is tedious.

Still, I knew my kids had a point; our school days were in need of some liveliness.  After surveying the boys on what they would consider a fun addition to our home school and then pondering and praying over their input, an idea surfaced in my typically unimaginative brain – a system of rewards that I (not so creatively) penned “School Year Incentives".

Now, my practical side knows that in this life we are not always compensated to the same degree of our diligence and that that our motivation should not merely be to get a prize.  As a result, I have been hesitant to give tangible rewards.  After all, we should learn first and foremost to do our best for God’s glory rather than selfish gain. 

But my other practical side realizes that children who receive much of their education outside of the home have their own rewards, including parties, prize bins, certificates of honor, and lunch and recess with friends everyday.  So I am willing to compromise a bit on my “reward” stance.

I decided upon an incentive system in which the boys earn points (given in pennies) which may be accumulated and then redeemed for items from the “shopping list”.

Certain behaviors - listening, obeying, and having a good attitude – are expected and are not a means of earning points, although misbehavior may result in losing points. 

Exceptional academic performance - including completing daily language and math assignments without error, scoring high on tests and reports, memorizing historical documents, watching documentaries, and reading extra books - are several ways to earn points.  The boys are not only motivated to work more carefully and diligently, but also to take pleasure in the extra effort they are putting into learning.

Items on the shopping list include but are not limited to the following:

10 points – a candy bar

25 points – a Dairy Queen blizzard or a bag of candy

35 points - invite a friend over

60 points – no chores for a week

75 points – movie date (including popcorn) with either mom or dad

100 points – $10 cash

Hmmm… maybe I should create an incentive list for myself!

Not hitting the snooze button in the morning = 1 point

Staying awake while Zachary reads out loud = 1 point

Not checking emails or facebook before school is finished for the day = 1 point

Not panicking when Brandon cannot figure out an Algebra problem = 2 points

My “shopping list” would look much like the boys’ list.  Undoubtedly, I would work towards a Blizzard, no chores for a week, and a movie date.

When I first introduced our new plan and read through the “shopping list”, the boys became so ecstatic they laughed uncontrollably!  (Yes, we really needed some fun in our school days!)

The new addition to our school year is no substitute for loving, consistent discipline, whose foundation was laid years before we ever considered homeschooling.  But it is a nice supplement that is providing a little more joy to what had become a rather monotonous school routine.

“…for your work shall be rewarded!” 2 Chronicles 15:7b

Fourteen!!

A mom never forgets the events surrounding the birth of her firstborn child, or any other of her offspring for that matter.  Over fourteen years ago, those events played out in my life.  It was an exceedingly stormy, summer night with massive downpours.  If all the “old wives tales” about heavy rain leading up to a baby’s birth were true, I was going to be delivering my son soon. 

I guess those old wives knew what they were talking about!  Just after 10pm, as Mike and I were getting into bed, my water broke.  Our little boy would be appearing shortly, almost three weeks ahead of schedule.

Upon arrival at the hospital, a quick check (as well as much painful confirmation) revealed our son was feet first – not a position in which he could safely be delivered naturally.  Within about three short hours, I was stretched on an operating table as the doctor delivered eight pound, two ounce baby Brandon via caesarean section.

The general consensus by the hospital staff was that our little boy looked just like his daddy.  While some of his features have changed over the years, his personality is a lot like his dad’s – patient, level-headed, self-controlled, and content. 

Of course, no child is perfect.  We see the best and worst in all of our kids.  But we are very proud of Brandon.  He successfully juggled a great deal this year, including a challenging eighth grade academic schedule that included several high school courses, piano lessons, a part time job, basketball, and Awana (both as a leader and a student).  Additionally, he wrote twenty-two Disney blog posts for the Mouse for Less website and has more in the works. 

And did I mention he wrote a book... in a month?! 

One of his highest accomplishments this year included completing a reading of the entire Bible, which he began in second grade.  His goal is now to read through the Bible in one year.  So far, he is on track!

Furthermore, he continues to be an excellent big brother, quick to offer help with difficult Lego creations, challenging puzzles, various projects, and school work.  He won Zachary’s admiration (and mine) by taking time out of his busy schedule to help his youngest brother build Star Wars paper airplanes. He is thoughtful with me, too, always ready to lend a helping hand when needed, at times without even being asked.

We celebrated Brandon’s fourteenth birthday last month.  My parents came to town (bringing him back from a week’s stay with them) for some of the festivities.  I cooked spaghetti, his favorite food, and served our family’s traditional M&M birthday cake.  The next day, he invited one of his oldest friends – one he played with before they could even talk – to supper at Sonic and a local minor league baseball game.  The following day, we celebrated with another tradition: cinnamon rolls for breakfast!  He enjoyed lots of birthday wishes all weekend from family and friends.

How thankful we are for that sweet little baby boy who has become a responsible, delightful fourteen year-old young man!!

“We give thanks to God always for you…” 1 Thessalonians 1:2a

Myrtle Beach Memories

Vacations at Myrtle Beach defined a large part of my childhood summers.  I recall specific details from at least twelve different trips, but the actual number of times I have been to Myrtle Beach is likely closer to twenty, maybe more. 

Some of my favorite memories of those childhood vacations include playing in the sand, collecting sea shells, walking along the beach, playing miniature golf, eating seafood, and visiting attractions such as the Pavilion, Myrtle Waves, and Waccamaw Outlet (or “Walk-a-Mile” as my dad would say).

Until last week, it had been almost a decade since our last visit to Myrtle Beach when Brandon was four years-old, Nicholas was two years-old, and Zachary was two months-old.  During that trip with our little boys, we played in the sand and at the pool, putted around on a miniature golf course, spent hours at NASCAR Speed Park, and had such a great time on our first vacation as a family of five that we spontaneously added one more night to our trip the day we were supposed to check-out!

Last week, deciding we were overdue for a trip to the beach, we headed to the coast for a few days between baseball games to play and relax after a challenging school year.  We stayed in an ocean view room at the Sea Crest, a resort in Myrtle Beach with several inside and outside pools and lazy rivers, as well as a small water park for children.

Hurricane Beryl tagged along as an uninvited guest, but thankfully her visit was relatively peaceful and confined to one night while we were sleeping.  No plans were spoiled, and we were able to enjoy lots of outdoor fun.

While I reclined in my beach chair with a captivating book, the boys ecstatically rode the waves to the best of their inexperienced ability on their new boogie boards.  

We explored the different pools and lazy rivers.

We also played miniature golf both evenings under a clear, beautiful sky.   

We enjoyed a picnic on the beach, pizza in the Jungle Lagoon parking lot, a nice seafood lunch with an ocean view at Sea Captain’s House (which, by the way, has the best hush puppies ever!), and a late-night excursion to Krispie Kreme. 

No trip to Myrtle Beach would be complete without stopping by one of the many Wings or Eagles stores.  We spent just a few dollars on souvenirs – shark-tooth necklaces, a hat, earrings, and a deck of cards.  During the little bit of time we spent in our room, we played cards and sat on the balcony watching the waves crash. 

We thank God, the Creator of the universe and all its beauty, Whom even the wind and the seas obey, for our fun and relaxing beach excursion and the many wonderful memories made on this trip!

“The heavens declare the glory of the God…” Psalm 19:1

Defining Marriage

Webster’s dictionary defines marriage as…

Well, does it really matter how Webster defines marriage? Merely a man-made list of words, a dictionary’s definitions are subject to change as our culture transforms.

Yet “…the word of God stands forever.” (Isaiah 40:8)

For a more accurate description of marriage, I prefer searching the Bible, a historically accurate and error-free text written by the Creator of this timeless and sacred institution. Our perfect God has no need to modify His definition to suit the ebb and flow of society throughout the ages.

“God made them male and female. For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” Mark 10:6b-8a

God speaks through three key figures over the course of approximately five thousand years to confirm marriage as a relationship between a man and a woman who physically and emotionally unite to become one flesh. God first makes this statement on marriage in Genesis; Jesus confirms it in the Gospels of Matthew and Mark; Paul restates it in the book of Ephesians.

Additionally, various books in both the Old and New Testaments provide clear familial roles, including specific duties of the husband and specific, but often different duties of the wife. While nowhere does the Bible suggest men and women are not equal, it does clearly distinguish between the two sexes, especially concerning marriage.

“To the woman He said: ‘…your desire shall be for your husband…’ ” Genesis 3:16

“Wives, submit to your own husbands…” Ephesians 5:22, Colossians 3:18

“…let the wife see that she respects her husband.” Ephesians 5:33

“Husbands, love your wives…” Ephesians 5:24, Colossians 3:19

“Husbands, likewise, dwell with them in understanding, giving honor to the wife…” 1 Peter3:7

“Wife” is always feminine; “husband” is always masculine. Every indication points to marriage as being between a man and a woman. Further, sexual relations between men or between women are clearly forbidden.

“If a man lies with a man as he lies with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination.” Leviticus 20:13

“…For even their women exchanged the natural use for what is against nature. Likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust for one another, men with men committing what is shameful…” Romans 1:26b-27a

A solid stand on marriage as established by God is rapidly fading, with a segment of Christians being all too quick to support altering God’s definition of marriage. How arrogant of us, mere humans, to think we are more informed than our Creator! “Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes….” (Isaiah 5:21a) The perspective of Christians who profess a personal relationship with God yet accept a definition of marriage as anything other than between a man and a woman is baffling.

Differences between men and women cannot be ignored. God’s physical design of His human creation and His perfect plan for procreation necessitate marriage as a union between a man and a woman. Same-sex marriage is like trying to fit together two mismatched pieces of a puzzle. It does not complete the biblical picture of marriage or family, but rather distorts it.

I appreciate the protection in our Constitution of the separation of church and state. Yet nowhere is that protection meant to include separating God’s moral laws from our country’s legal system, which in fact was founded upon basic biblical principles. As American citizens, we must protect those values upon which our country was started. As followers of Christ, we must support what God established from the beginning and has confirmed throughout His Word.

Celebrating Zachary's Ninth Birthday

Two weeks ago, our once eight and half pound baby boy turned nine years-old! As the saying goes, time flies when you’re having fun! These single-digit years have zoomed by, in part a testament to the delight and amusement Zachary has added to our family.

Due to a variety of circumstances, Zachary’s ninth birthday celebrations extended over the course of almost a week, beginning with a weekend sleepover with his best buddy and life-long friend Eli, who was born in the same hospital just three days before Zachary. Together they celebrated by playing at a local children’s museum, observing a St. Patrick’s Day parade, watching a movie, and eating lots of cake and ice cream.


Because Mike had work obligations on Zachary’s actual birthday, we gave him his gifts early. He was thrilled to receive some drawing books from Nicholas, a telescope and microscope set from Brandon, and a new bike from us. Of course, riding his bike, drawing animals, and star-gazing before bed were immediately added to the weekend festivities.




Celebrations continued on Sunday with cinnamon rolls for breakfast and a birthday lunch at Pizza Hut, followed by ordering some baseball catcher’s gear using money received by extended family members.

My parents arrived on Monday to continue the partying!


Zachary easily convinced them to let him open the gifts from them after supper. He couldn’t have been more excited about receiving additional bug catching equipment, which he has since used almost daily, adding all sorts of little creatures to his menagerie for as long as they will survive.


At last, Zachary’s actual birthday arrived on Tuesday and was spent with my parents eating out, watching a movie, and having a Starbucks Frappuccino – Zachary’s choice!


Had it been up to Zachary, the celebrations would have continued endlessly, still occurring right now. But, alas, all good things much come to an end… or at least, be put on hold until next year!

What a blessing our youngest son has been! Full of life, enthusiasm, and passion, at times he has been a challenge to teach and discipline. Yet his life reveals a pattern of progress, sometimes at a snail’s pace, but onward nonetheless. Academically, relationally, and spiritually, Zachary is growing in maturity and in his desire to honor the Lord.

Oh my, is it ever a challenge for him! Yet he is willing to face it head-on, as he does anything he truly cares about. To see a child revert back to wayward habits must be heartbreaking, but to see a child grow in wisdom and maturity is pure joy.

We are proud of our little man and his passion for life, for God’s creations, and for the Lord Himself.

“And the child… grew both in stature, and in favor both with the Lord and men.”
1 Samuel 2:26

Beyond Studying: Applying God's Word

How important it is to be a hearer of God’s Word! Immersing ourselves in the Bible by establishing the discipline of a daily quiet time as well as consistent study under the leadership of a local church is vital for genuine spiritual growth.

But hearing the word of God – and yes, even pouring our minds into studying Scripture – is not the final goal. We must press on and be doers of the Word. Studying the Bible is not meant to merely increase our knowledge, but rather to prompt us to mold our lives into the image of the One who gave us those precious, life-changing Words.

For a goal-oriented person like me, this is the most difficult aspect of the Christian life. I can train myself to take time each day to talk to the Lord and listen to what He has to say through His written Word, but when I close my Bible, I find it incredibly difficult at times to live by the instructions upon which I just meditated.

I am confident I will never perfect the discipline of applying God’s Word to my life. And thankfully, I do not have to in order to have an everlasting relationship with God. He loves me always and unconditionally simply because of my faith in Him.

However, because I am a child of God’s, I have His constant presence living within me, guiding me in His truths and empowering me to obey His commands. I am permanently saved by grace, yet also able to live according to His standards as set forth in His Word, the Bible, because of the Holy Spirit working in me. Therefore I must not be content with merely hearing the Word, but should also seek to obey it.

In applying God’s Word to my life, I must guard against picking and choosing which Scriptures I will accept. I must sincerely seek to apply the whole Word of God, not just those verses that are easy to follow or make sense in the context of our current culture.

For example, I could easily deceive myself and others into believing I am a “good Christian” by helping orphans, widows, the poor, and the oppressed, while all the time harboring bitterness, anger, and hatred in my heart. I also must guard against misusing my freedom in Christ (freedom from the penalty of sin, not from obedience to God) to disregard biblical commands and justify my selfish desires.

I must commit to applying all of God’s Word to all of my life, even when it is humbling and hard.

My goal in reading and studying God’s Word should never be simply to prove I am right, to convince others of my strongly held opinions, or to justify my actions. How easy it would then be to pull verses out of context instead of looking at all of Scripture! Rather, my purpose should be to discover how to be right with the One who created me and loves me unconditionally and how to live according to His standards for His glory.

“But he who looks into the perfect law of liberty and continues in it, and is not a forgetful hearer but a doer of the work, this one will be blessed in what he does.” James 1:25