Remembering

Throughout the year on both special occasions and in the ordinary moments of life, our thoughts turn to a beloved family member who passed away over 14 years ago, Mike’s mom Irene. Today, on what would have been her 69th birthday, we are once again remembering her.

While grief and sorrow subside over time, our longing for her presence in our daily lives never fades away. Numerous times we have wished for her company – to glean her wisdom, to hear her sweet voice, to see her love on our children, and to feel her own precious arms around our necks.

Our children never met their grandmother, who passed away two years before Brandon’s birth. However, we are intentional in making sure they know her.

She was a creative lady, often cross-stitching or knitting. Zachary remembers her throughout the Christmas season as the one who made his daddy's stocking. Gifted musically, she played the piano in church and sang in the choir. As her family's chef, she started the tradition of baking a yellow cake, adding homemade chocolate icing, and decorating it with M&Ms. She even made it for our rehearsal dinner!

If ever there was a sentimental person, it was my mother-in-law. She saved everything, even her sons' spelling tests from elementary school. Every item touched by her boys was, in her mind, worth preserving. While this can be taken to an extreme, it also indicates how special her children were to her and how difficult it was to let them go.

However, she did not try to manipulate her boys’ lives. While she would have preferred that Mike choose a safer occupation, she supported him in his desire to be in the Army and in law enforcement. She was concerned, but she trusted the Lord to take care of the son He had entrusted to her to raise.

Sweet and generous, my mother-in-law did not withhold gifts from her family. Often unexpected and not intended for any particular holiday, the items let us know we were in her thoughts.

One characteristic of his mom that Mike remembers most is her willingness to listen. No subject was unimportant to her and she was always available. She wanted to hear what was happening in her family’s lives. She would listen and advise, always with love and never with harsh judgment.

Irene had a lot of spunk, too. She would unhesitatingly stand up for what she believed in. And you better not say a word against her family or her God; she would defend both in an instant! She was a loyal lady, particularly to those she loved.

Her love for her family was tremendous, and I know she would have felt the same for my boys. This incredible love would have led her to make every effort possible to call them, listen to their stories, ask about their lives, and be at special events. She would have been interested in and proud of all they did – from trivial matters to earthly successes to more important spiritual matters.

Family was important to her, and she would as much as possible sacrifice her own agenda or expenses to be with those she loved. But Irene loved the Lord as well, so much so that she, her husband, and 12 year-old Mike left everything precious in their lives to obey the Lord and move overseas to be missionaries. That was no easy decision for one so clearly devoted to both her extended family and, most of all, the older son she would also leave behind. Yet she understood all the Lord had done for her and that He was the one who gave her not only family, but life itself. She wanted others around the world to know God too.

Her love for the Lord carried over into every relationship she had. She loved all people – her family, her friends, fellow missionaries, former church members, and the congregation of Rome Baptist Church, which included people of many different tribes, tongues, and nations. And they loved her, as was evident by the vast number of people in attendance at her funeral and all of the kind notes and deeds that followed.

Mike’s mom was a special lady, and we will always wish we could have shared more years on earth together. Her wise advice, compassionate heart, and unconditional love would have been a priceless addition to our lives. But we are thankful for the time we did have with her and that we are able to tell our boys all about their grandma. We trust the Lord’s plan to take her to her heavenly home 14 years ago. Our family is full of peace and faith that we will see her again one day.

Still, we miss her.


“I thank my God upon every remembrance of you,” Philippians 1:3