A Teapot Kind of Love

Have you seen the commercial where the young newlywed gives his bride a teapot for Valentine’s Day? Her disappointed expression prompts an explanation. He argues that she has a fondness for tea, drinks it often, and that the teapot is pretty. Still, she is unsatisfied.

Fast forward a year (or maybe it’s a do-over). The couple is now in a nice restaurant. The husband presents his wife a gift. A puzzled expression appears on her face as another teapot is revealed. However, she becomes overjoyed as she peers inside and pulls out a box containing a diamond necklace. The commercial concludes with the advice, “Show her what love really is this Valentine’s Day.”

Is that love? I sure hope not! Admittedly, my love language is not gifts. Furthermore, I am quite confident that if my husband surprised me with an expensive piece of jewelry, any pleasure in the present would be far surpassed by my panic over how much money he spent.

Don’t get me wrong. From time to time, Mike has surprised me with extravagant gifts, such as tickets to see the Broadway show Wicked for Valentine’s Day and an iPod Touch for Christmas. Generous and thoughtful, these presents are much-appreciated.

Yet so are the simpler ones, like the two tomato plants he and the boys bought and planted for me for Mother’s Day or the coffee pot he surprised me with one cold December evening. Neither the practicality nor the amount of money spent on a gift is an indicator of the amount of love one person has for another.

So what is love? Commercials tell us that love comes in a costly package. Songs tell us that love is exciting and passionate. Dictionary.com defines love as an affectionate feeling. These gifts and emotions may be effects of love, but they are not the essence of love.

Love is an action, not a feeling of romance or neediness or an expensive piece of jewelry. The new husband, by putting attention and effort into an appropriate gift for his bride, demonstrated true love with a teapot. His wife’s unappreciative, shallow response fell far short in displaying love. Authentic and selfless, this "teapot kind of love" gives and reacts thoughtfully rather than simply follows its feelings.

While modern society misses the mark when it comes to what true love is, God’s Word nails it right on the head. Sprinkled throughout the Bible are many descriptions of love as an action: sacrifice, discipline, patience, kindness, humility, courtesy, truthfulness, endurance, hope, and a variety of other selfless behaviors. One who loves chooses to act in such a manner regardless of gifts or attitudes.

If a husband helps himself to a nap instead of helping with dishes, his wife chooses to love him by being patient and understanding, recognizing he needs rest after a busy week at work. If a child ignores a command and is both disobedient and disrespectful, a parent chooses to love by responding with appropriate discipline, followed by lots of hugs. If someone neglects to help a friend, the friend chooses to love by not bitterly withholding her own acts of service when that person has a need. Love is a choice and should not be denied just because of irritations or hurt feelings.

True love is best displayed by God’s love for us. Despite our poor choices, bad attitudes, selfishness, and pride, God loves us so much that He sent His Son to take what we deserve for our very unloving actions. There is no greater love than giving one’s own life, which is what Jesus did for us. And there is no more loving response we can demonstrate than accepting His act of love. Sadly, many respond to Jesus like the young bride responded to her teapot, desiring worldly riches rather than God’s precious, self-sacrificing gift.

As Valentine’s Day approaches and our attention is drawn to what love truly is, do not be deceived into believing that it is merely a feeling, an emotion, or a pricey gift that stores say you must buy or receive. Instead, recognize that true love is an action, defined in God’s Word and displayed by His own Son. Choose to act and react with this "teapot kind of love".

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”
1 Corinthians 13:4-8a